Painting Outside the Lines

Yesterday, I shared a post to my FaceBook page from a comedian who goes by the name of “God.” I shared it because I found it funny and a biting commentary on our current state of “religion” in this fine country of ours. I got a few “likes” and really thought nothing more of it. See below.

Later on in the day I decided it was a good time to sage (or smudge) my house. Since our youngest son’s bilateral VDRO surgery 10 weeks ago (a MAJOR hip surgery on both sides that we were so profoundly unprepared for it would be funny if I didn’t cry every damn day since), we’ve been living in a perpetual hell. Landry is in constant pain. He is on Valium every 6 hours but this does not seem to help. He refuses to move his body and thus his caloric burn has taken a nose dive and so now he also throws up 3-4 times a day. He cries really BIG tears every time I have to change his diaper, move him, bathe him, etc. This coming from a kid who has always worn the biggest smile on his face and laughed out loud in the best way. A kid who has been through 12+ surgeries and has never been in this much discomfort. Ever.

So I decided to sage the house and set some “healing” intentions and “happy” intentions and “growth/love/grace/prosperity” intentions all while thanking my god and reciting the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. The sage was bought from an ethically sourced provider and was harvested by Native Americans in order to smudge my home and rid it of negativity, help bring clarity and healing back into our home. Right in the middle of this activity I received a text message from a friend with the above picture of my FaceBook post and a message basically stating that I had made a blanket statement about Christians and that I was better than this. Thanks smudging…you really helped me out yesterday. (Insert eye roll here).

I am here to say, I might not be better than that, or I might be. I don’t really know yet. I discussed the situation with my husband who does, himself identify as a Christian, and he too was unhappy with my blanket statement. He likes to say that I “paint with broad brush strokes” and that when a person paints with broad brush strokes they are ultimately doomed “to color outside of the lines.” But coloring inside the lines is not who I want to be.

My truth is that I am a spiritual woman who believes that everyone should be treated justly and with respect, without consequence of their skin color, religion, sexual orientation, or gender identity. I was raised in a home that was loudly and proudly atheist and I have worked hard to figure out what I, myself, truly believe. But I am not a Christian. I’m not saying I wont ever identify as a Christian, but at this current moment in time I do not identify as a Christian. The idea of organized religion does not appeal to me: fitting into a box that was created to keep people in check (in my opinion, women specifically).

Ok, let’s just get this out of the way so I don’t have to reference it every time….THIS IS ALL JUST MY OPINION.

So with all that said, I only know very surface ideas Jesus purported. I know he hung out with the drunkards and the prostitutes. I know he believed that every person, and especially the most down-trodden, should be treated the same as everyone else. I know God said that man was created in his image and that God doesn’t make mistakes. So if God doesn’t make mistakes, then a person who is born gay or lesbian, or discovers they are trans, should therefore be treated the same as any Jane, Dick or Harry according to God.

And yet. And yet. And yet there are legions of people who identify as Christian in the United States of America who also do not believe that a man and a man should get married. Christians who believe that the only genders are male and female and that only a male and a female should be allowed to marry, love each other, have a family. Christians who will harm others because these “others” do not fit into the box deemed appropriate in their eyes. That doesn’t seem very “Christ like” to me. To me that sounds downright hateful. And gross. And that’s definitely not who I want to be.

There is a person in my life who identifies as a Christian and tries to live their life in a very Christian way. This person (who will be referred to as they or them because keeping their identity hidden is of the utmost importance to me) is quite devout in their worship and belief. We have many conversations about their religious views and mine, and we have come to blows over some of these views due to our passionate personalities. This person revealed to me that they were struggling with their own sexual identity and that they did not feel there was a safe place for them to be who they truly are because they were rebuffed by both the Christian religion and the LGBTQIA community due to who they simply were. That, to me, is devastating. This person deserves to be loved and honored for who they are regardless of their sexual identity or religion.

So yes, I found the above mentioned FaceBook post funny, and satirical. It is a commentary on how the mainstream Christian community purports to be a religion of love and yet that love is only allowed to those who fit inside the Christian box or for those who dutifully color within the lines. It’s satire. And it’s not even MINE!!!!

I swore to myself that I would not take down the post because I truly believed in the message it was trying to send. But I took it down. Because my posting it had hurt people that I love and care about. Because it offended those people. And maybe, just a little, because I felt like I had made a bad choice; my paintbrush strokes were a little too overreaching this time around. And then I got angry with myself. I am angry because I once again didn’t stand in my own truth.

I do not believe that ALL Christians believe the LGBTQIA community is not worthy of love. But I do believe there is a great many who feel this way. There are a great many people who do not believe that being transgender is “real” and will fight tooth and nail to prove their point. And I do believe this section of our country that holds these beliefs as truth were strengthened and spurred on by the leader of our country for the past 4 years. It’s a whole lot easier to say what you believe (even when those beliefs might not be socially acceptable in this day and age) when the leader of the country is spewing hatred from every media outlet possible.

So my final thought is this: If you, as a Christian, were offended by the above FaceBook post, then maybe you should also be asking yourself some tough questions. What does loving the way Christ did really mean to you? Does it bother you that there is a whole world of people out there who might not think or believe or live exactly the way you do? If God doesn’t make mistakes, then how do we account for the many variations of skin color, religious beliefs, sexual identities and orientations? If belonging to a religion or practicing within a certain sect equals your having to choose people to hate or trying to convert them to a different belief system, then maybe that religion has it wrong. Maybe that box is too tight and those lines do need to be drawn outside of. Because the god I pray to, loves everyone.